Hello, big wide world and fellow soulful ones! Thank you for joining me. I’m just understanding the real depths about who I am and what I am as an empathic, introverted woman. I’ve been working on myself in a very deep way, as I am often apt to do but the past 2 years and particularly the last 12 months, have been more enlightening than they ever have before.
I have been through half of a lifetime of deep transformation that has evolved me into the woman I am today. Can I say, that although, I am of course, still learning and evolving and still have many things that I need to tweak, integrate, change, and sort out… Despite all of that, I feel that I am contented and that I am on the road to where I am most able to live out my most precious dreams… the ones I have had for myself since a young girl.
I am proud to be the woman I am right now. I’m not perfect at all, don’t need to be, can understand that although my anxieties and fears stem from this need for perfection, I do not have to allow it to control me. I can go to places in my mind and life where I know my Creator is leading me to the best of me. Taking the time to be more mindful. More in tune with my playful side as well.
I honestly feel that there were some things that needed to take place and some other things that needed to take shape in order for me to be exactly where I am, right now, at this moment, 2018. I attempted similar changes for my life in 2007 and had a foundation laid out, but had far too many responsibilities to others, to my job… The timing wasn’t right.
There were some powerful moments of loss, grief, tragedy, and deeper soul-searching that needed to take place that I thought I had already gone through at that point in time. I can now better take control of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. My emotional and spiritual intelligence have raised and it excites me as it gets more and more expansive. It’s adding color to my life and experiences. You can do the same. What do you have to lose?
We raised, cared for, and nurtured a massive sized family that reached out to include extended family members. Particularly siblings on both sides! I am referring to my guy of 23 years when I say “We”. The family is important to us and because we are both highly sensitive people, particularly I, as an empath, it’s always our tendency to want to be hospitable and nurture. However, at the same time, we allowed some of it to get out of control and it cost our son’s behavior and our relationship in many unforeseen ways. Many of you are currently doing the same things or have allowed things to nearly annihilate you! Haha.
We suffered much loss, grief and tragic circumstances that was really hard to get through. But it was done. I am so much stronger and awake for it. All the while, however, I truly felt that something was coming that needed me to be in a particular mindset with a certain set of values and a wisdom gained through these very painful, traumatic and sometimes very lonely experiences. I am very resilient, have endurance, am flexible with stubborn tenacity to keep going. I spent hundreds of nights, that were very long and to myself, all by my lonesome, to think. To meditate. To observe. It was truly the Dark Night of the Soul in it’s purest sense. It was deepest episode yet.
Losing my newborn daughter before her birth was one of these things that came along and knocked us off our feet and ripped out our hearts. That’s when a carefully and craftily disguised spiritual depression set in. I still feel like it’s a surreal event that occurred in my life. My dear Olyvia was real and she existed. She was here and she brought incredible insight into my life. I can still feel that moment of real pride while looking into her pretty little face.
This deep, strange crisis that set it after her passing which caused a type of awakening was precisly that “Dark Night of the Soul”, process. Believe me, it was most definitely an “existential conundrum”, as my late brother in law Joel and I would often joke about when referring to the Huckabees film. Losing him last year was also a very surreal change. But going through that process can be smothering. It’s all encompassing.
Though I was going through what seemed like an abyss of hell, I know how to get through things quickly because of my closeness with the Creator and my belief that we are living in a beautiful, conscious Universe and living Earth, giving me unshakeable faith. I stubbornly forge ahead and drum up all that I need inside to thrive and survive. Going within and retreating to myself is often where I take myself in life’s problematic and heavier moments. It’s something natural to me. Most of us need to learn to become more mindful and reflective. I coach myself often and turn to educating myself and becoming resourceful when I need to find strength, hope and an understanding of getting the success to make it through things.
It was difficult many times because of the mindset I was having. I had all this programming running around inside that kept saying to me, “why aren’t you further ahead in life? You should have had that career by now! When are you going to get all the shit you told yourself you would have in your life? When are you going to take a chance and let go of all these toxic people and toxic situations? When are you going to get out of this depression? Is this the life that you are going to settle for? Why are you waiting? You’re getting too old now! What are you doing?” On and on and on and on, this type pf thinking would occur in my mind. Overthinking has always been a weakness of mine.
Yet, I’ve always been one to see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if it was very blurry and not at all clear at the moment. I have always felt my Creator near me and I often do have these earnest prayers of where I am having these conversational moments. I can feel the spirit of God all around me. I can see this operating in my life all the time. My intuition is super strong and works for me when I pay attention and listen with faith. There’s just far too many experiences that are serendipitous. Synchronicity has always been everywhere! I see it as messages of the angels. I remember the scripture, “As a man thinketh, so is he”. We are what we believe we are. We get what we expect. I needed to change my mindset and expect something better.
Insights just seem to pop into my head out from the ether and I have delved so far and so deep into the deepest of the deep in all areas of my life and within the grander landscape of this world we live in. They used to call me “lil ole lady” for a reason. I was thinking and pondering the state of our planet, the people who live on it, the beautiful creatures that live among us and the gorgeous landscape of stars above.
I would love to be an inspiration for others like me, as an empath, who want to live a spiritual life and live according to the Universal laws of love, attraction and manifestation. Living with authenticity and audaciously in order that I might understand how to find seek passion deeply and live out my Spiritual Journey beautifully but helping others navigate and understand their own awakening, while I too, continue my own life trip upstream.
As of today, I am a middle aged woman, moving along slow and steadily toward a much more sacred, peaceful and contented way of life. One that I have never known before. This year has had so much learning, so much awakening! Both by doing inner, more spiritual work and learning a series of new skills and concepts. This year isn’t even over yet, either!
I have this powerful desire to inspire, empower, motivate and teach to share all that I know and have come know and learn. I keep seeking the answers of how to find your passion for life through a spiritual journey both during and after awakening, while also sharing all the tools and resources that I personally believe in and come to know very well. There are some really fine quality jewels of wisdom, knowledge, insight and everyday life tips and spiritual resources that are beyond useful.
I am walking away from all that fear that I have had for so long. My agonizing fear over not succeeding literally made it so that I was overthinking and stagnant, in total paralysis analysis. It doesn’t allow you to move forward. Then all those decisions…Should I do this or should I do that? Do I go with this or that? Should I go this way or that way?
I was always one for indecision for fear of not making the correct choice. I would pick apart and laser in on each and every possible scenario and many times choosing or not choosing based off of presuming to know what may or may not occur without having jumped in and making the decision. I would decide before I even tried! How foolish that was! I was holding myself back based off of something that not occured.
Fear is a powerful thing and can leave you feeling stuck. Fear leaves you feeling powerless and drained. The best way to deal with this is through the power of prayer and reflection. Meditation, my friend. That’s right. Remember all those strengths that you do have, can be consciously made to bubble up to the surface and strengthened. If you’ve been through hell already, then you know that you don’t have to have to worry about living openly as yourself without that fear and unjustified anxiety. Face it. You have resilience and you have incredible power. I’ve discovered these things about myself and I know they are within you too.
Imagination can take you to beautiful places but it can also take you to places that aren’t so desirable. What you believe to be true will manifest. Remember your integrity, character and core values. Those things allow us to hold our head on high as we make this journey through life. Building a strong foundation can prepare us for when challenges appear. Fear freezes us. Remember those wonderful strengths that we have carved out for ourselves.
We’re are own worst critic and as empaths, we are far too hard on ourselves and it’s ridiculous when you think about it because you can be so gentle and patient with others but aweful to ourselves within our own minds. We can easily build someone else up. It’s important that we do the same for us.
You are your own best friend. I have learned to trust myself more and more and it feels good because I truly am my very own best friend. As true introverts, it’s not so surprising. We always knew how to keep ourselves entertained and don’t need another person to keep us engaged with life. However, we can get really stuck into a hermit pattern and nearly turn ourselves agoaphobic!
I made a decision after going through much of this. It’s my intention and passion that we explore our selves as empaths in this world and learn to understand what makes us thrive, tic, and what keeps us feeling healthy, wise and alive. I’m excited to share this journey with you and can’t wait to see how it all unfolds.
Our universe is powerful and magical, just as we are and we can learn to draw close to the creator and understand how these beautiful universal laws have been designed, what they mean for us today and who lived by them in the past. The support, the love, and the inspiration are what will hold everything together and be the glue for us muses and my soon to be tribe of Sacred Ravens.
It’s important that you understand that staying true to yourself and being truly authentic in the way you express yourself and live your life is what will bring you real and genuine joy. There’s no one in the world like you. Remember that. There’s no sense in feeling locked up in our heads where these negative and unhealthy images and self-talk circle about over and over and over again. Living with a torturous dungeon. The victimizing needs to stop.
SeIf-discovery, through the Creator, is the only way to find yourself upon the road to true purpose, creativity and enthusiasm. Manifesting our dreams, hopes and inspirational lives is a power within reach and can be explored just by acknowledging it. We are powerful and creative creatures. There’s so much to play around with and deeply explore. Let’s get in touch with a more ancient and deep side of ourselves that we can honor. Who do we know ourselves to be?
Self acknowlwdgement and looking at ourselves in the way we percieves ourselves to be rather than what other project onto us, is very important to me and getting in touch with a side of ourselves that we are when we are alone. Being that person and knowing the value of what we do, who we are, and yet not needing the validation of another person, but only ourselves. How we see ourselves is very important. There ought to be a natural, humble and real love for self and a love that makes for sure that we are healthy and that we are taken care of.
I look forward to building a long-lasting friendship with those of you who are like me. Not just as an empath, but also as a truth seeker, a dreamer, an inspired, spiritual person on a journey to be close to the Creator and learn about this life, love, and true practice of self-care with a healthy self-image and strong, clear mindset.
I hope that I deliver when it comes to helping you learn, transform and becoming inspired. My questions are deep and they are many. My quest only seems to deepen over time and my life gets more fascinating to me as I learn more about myself and the people who share this world with me.
We were all born with special gifts and it’s important that we show them to the world. Jeremiah 29:11 is clear in this. We are born with beautiful, powerful, unique gifts that are meant to do the will of the Creator and that passion and enthusiasm we feel when we are in the flow of these spiritually driven, unique gifts, allowing us to empower and teach others out there to utilize their own.
Let’s explore and expand who we are as empaths and through inspiration and education, all these things together will add to our creativity, courage, clarity, and contentment! Let’s activate and strengthen our intuition and the way we view our sacred lives and make it a beautiful, sacred life to live by.
I’m wishing you all a life that you deserve, becoming the person you dreamed of and manifest the life you imagined. We deserve the independance and freedom. It’s pure beauty and magic. It’s living each moment as it is, sacred.
Love and Kisses!
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Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
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